Roger’s 2 Cents – 2 of 3 Corona Virus Edition

In the last segment I talked about fear and control and how fear and control are inextricably linked. How there’s very often a legitimate relationship between fear and control. In this segment, I want to talk about fear and information gathering. When we can’t control something, when there’s a thing in our life that we can’t control, what we then do is we substitute information gathering.

Roger’s 2 Cents – 1 of 3 Corona Virus Edition

I am now on my back patio in Idaho. We’re in the middle of the coronavirus quarantine and I have not been out of my house except to go to the grocery store twice, haven’t been out of my house for 20 days, but I have been on the phone with lots and lots of my clients and I thought I would do a, a video series and try to get them out and in somewhat rapid succession to answer some of the common questions and to address some of the common issues that my clients have brought to me. So there are basically three parts that I want to talk about.

Resilience Tip from Japan

RESILIENCE TIP FROM JAPAN Help others.That seems obvious, but let me talk about our society. Our society has created a therapy culture and my profession is probably guiltier than any other. We think if we go and pay somebody money for fifty minutes of their time just to whine and complain, then we’ll feel better. […]

Better Than Self Esteem

BETTER THAN SELF ESTEEM I’m going to introduce to you a fundamentally different concept with a slightly different name.  That concept was self-esteem. The concept I want you to get is self-efficacy. While it sounds the same, it is quite different than self-esteem. Self-efficacy is looking for evidence in your past. It’s asking yourself, “What have I done in […]

Self Esteem is Bankrupt

Who feels good about themselves? I’m going to get on my soapbox here. My profession talks a lot about self-esteem. You’ve heard it. “You know you need to feel good about yourself. You’re good enough. You’re smart enough and doggone it, people like you enough to vote you as the Senator for Minnesota.” We think […]

Man’s Search for Meaning

ADVERSITY IS NECESSARY FOR GREATNESS What’s one of the greatest books written in the twentieth century? It’s “Man’s Search for Meaning“, by Viktor Frankl. I strongly recommend it. Viktor Frankl was an Austrian Jew, captured and put in Auschwitz and Dachau slave labor camps. It is his story of survival of the prison camps and […]

Tied up in the Woods

Do you know what SERE training is? The acronym SERE stands for: Survival/Evasion/Resistance/Escape – it is the closest thing to torture we do to our citizens. The Air Force, the Navy, and the Army all put their pilots through this training. I hated it, but I’m glad I did it. In SERE training, they set […]

Ruining Your Kids

More adversity please Adversity is the necessary ingredient for resilience. The Great Depression led immediately to the Greatest Generation. We often hear talk about the World War II generation as being the Greatest Generation in our history. Part of that formative experience was going through the Great Depression. The Great Depression was a necessary ingredient […]

Out of Sickness, Health

The Angel’s Kiss When I was a kid I lived in India. While living there we had to boil our water. In India, there were really only two drinks that I could drink with any degree of safety outside of our home. They were hot tea (because it was boiled) and Coca Cola. When you’re […]